What not to expect when you’re not expecting.

Posted on by daisiesandbadgers

Friends, I’d like to begin this post by letting you all know, emphatically, that I am not pregnant. Nor do I plan to be any time soon.

It is with that in mind that I hope you can sympathize with my ‘Please ground open up and cover me in your safe and earthly embrace’ embarrassment, when I tell you I recently got asked that most delightful of probing questions,

“So…when are you due?”

I’m not. I’m so very not.

And while discussion with friends (and a close wardrobe inspection) did reveal my tunic/ jeans combo was probably to blame, I spent the rest of the day overly conscious of my mid-section.

It is with that in mind, and the discussions that generated, that I would like to list for you here the reasons why, unless the previous sentence out of a woman’s mouth are ‘I’m pregnant and so excited about it!’ you should NEVER, EVER, ask a woman,

‘So when are you due?’

1. She may not be pregnant.

Between bloating, constipation, bad wardrobe choices, bad posture, and good ol’ fashioned belly fat, there are a myriad of reasons why a woman may look pregnant and not actually be pregnant. If you’re not sure DON’T ASK. Doing so will only result in embarresment and pain. Potentially for both of you.

Also it’s none of your business.

2. She could be pregnant and not want to tell anyone.

Some pregnancies start to show pretty early, and especially if you haven’t bought any new clothes to hide it, you can start to look pregnant pretty early on. What if she hasn’t announced it yet? What if it’s before the three month point and she’s not even told her mum? You put her in an awkward position of either lying or telling a complete stranger something ridiculously personal.

Also, it’s NONE of your business.

3. You literally have no idea what her fertility situation is.

She could be pregnant and getting an abortion. She could be trying and struggling to conceive. She could be infertile. She could be a surrogate. She could have miscarried. She could be putting it up for adoption.

Not every pregnancy is a happy one, and you have no idea how a woman may feel at being asked what is a very personal question.

Oh, and also,

4. IT’S SERIOUSLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

When was the last time you had sex? Did you have a good period? What consistency was your last bowel movement?

Oh I’m sorry, was that too personal a question?

Despite what multiple administration’s around the world seem to think (I’m looking at you Trump) a woman’s uterus is not actually a public space. If you don’t know a woman, and especially if you don’t know her circumstances, then her fertility choices or situation have nothing to do with you. It may take a village to raise a child, but until that child leaves it’s mother’s womb, that village can bugger off.

It’s rude, personal, and intrusive.

So, in conclusion, unless you desperately want to make your life into a Hugh Grant Rom-Com (I’m looking at you Two Weeks Notice) just think before you speak, and don’t ask questions people may not want to answer.

Now if I could just stop the dreaded, “So when do you and husband plan to…”

We went to see a thing. The Thing to be exact.

Posted on by daisiesandbadgers

John Carpenter's The Thing

Man is the warmest place to hide

This year for Halloween the Great Bearded One and I decide to head to a Halloween screening of John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’. If you haven’t seen this 80’s horror classic (like I hadn’t) then I will try and give you a brief synopsis.

A young and ruggedly handsome Kurt Russell is hanging out on an Antarctic Base with some guys doing… researchy stuff, when a Swede Norwegian in a helicopter flies in trying to shoot a husky. The Norwegian gets shot before he can warn them about The Thing (!!!) a parasitic alien eating and pretending to be other lifeforms. It could be anyone. Chaos ensues.

Nico gazes wistfully at a snowy plasticine landscape

The screening was in association with Belfast Film Festival and Newcastle Community Cinema, and was hosted at South 13, Belfast. The screening promised to be a little bit different with the venue set to be transformed into a snowbound landscape for the evening, and boy did they deliver!

The first snowfall

I will assimilate

We arrived at South 13 to a massive hand-painted backdrop and two snow machines creating the perfect atmosphere, I felt ready to go crunching through the snow already. They had a seating area set up with hay bales and industrial wooden reel tables, lit by candles, with projector screens playing The Thing related short films and trailers.

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Think it was playing Thingu if I remember rightly

The setting was breathtaking, and really set you up for the film, we had been warned in advance to dress in our best thermals for this immersive experience, so we were all set for an Antarctic adventure.

But guys.

I haven’t even told you the best part.

.

They had ACTUAL HUSKIES!!!

Excuse my ghost face but he’s SUCH A GOOD BOY!

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Super blurry but that’s okay because he’s still a good boy! Yes he is!

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GOOD BOY! You wouldn’t assimilate anyone would you?

After relaxing with some drinks and nibbles from the bar (and many pets for the very good dogs) we headed into the screening area. First up was ‘The Thing- 27,000 hours’, produced by Jen Handorf, and directed by Sean Hogan for Film4’s Frightfest 2011.

Definitely a creepy watch, and didn’t actually give toooo much away, it’s a really clever play on The Thing narrative.

Next up was Lee Hardcastle’s ‘Pingu’s The Thing’ (Thingu) and this was a work of absolute genius, please do watch it because this is outstanding. It does spoil a few bits though so if you haven’t seen The Thing yet, but now want to, maybe watch it afterwards. You have been warned NOOT! NOOT!

Finally it was time for the main event, but before the movie began we had one final treat. Director John Carpenter himself gave us all an introduction to the film via videolink with a big shoutout to his Belfast fans. It was a real cherry on top.

The film was just as good as the set up promised, if you liked Aliens you will enjoy this, it has that timeless suspense thrill about it. The special effects while definitely not feeling modern have aged pretty well, and don’t leave you laughing at the naffness of it (except one part which you are meant to laugh at). If you’re not a big fan of gore this isn’t too bad, it has it but it’s used well, it isn’t gross-out in anyway. Most of the horror comes from the feeling of paranoia, of the unknown. That feeling of being in the absolute middle of nowhere with no help in sight and no idea who you can trust. I would definitely recommend it.

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DUN DUN DUNNNN!

The final surprise of the night came mid film, as one character attacked the creature with a blowtorch. A member of the crew came into the screening and let off an actual blowtorch, we could feel the heat from where we were sitting! It was completely safe (the dogs were also long gone by this point) but really added to the immersive experience.

Belfast Film Festival takes place in April, but they also have screenings and events running all year round, in site specific screenings like this one. They support local filmmakers and have educational outreach programs, so if you have a chance to head to one of their screenings you’ll be doing good and getting a new experience out of it. The next screening I have my eye on is ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles’ playing at Belfast Central Station, tickets are a tenner. Lookie here for BFF

Newcastle Community Cinema is a small non-profit organisation run by a handful of volunteers in Newcastle dedicated to bring great movies, new and old, to newcastle and its surrounding areas. Well worth a look into as they show some great film, I’m considering ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ next Sunday for £5. Lookie here for NCC

South 13 is a big cultural space on Boucher road on the site of a former B&Q store (you may need to type that into google maps to find it) it has events and activities going on all the time so check out their facebook page for any events they are hosting Lookie here for S13

I’m keeping my eyes peeled for more events like this because all in all I think they did a great job, made a real change from the usual Saturday night at the cinema with a £50 packet of popcorn and 2 hours of trailers (okay I might be exaggerating a smidge but don’t tell me it doesn’t feel like that to you too)

Hope you had a great Halloween whatever you did, so tell me now, is everyone ready for Christmas?

The Bearded Badger and I pretending to be human

He’s so lucky to have me for a wife

I. AM. HUUUMAN.

And full stop.

Posted on by daisiesandbadgers

There are so rarely words to describe the pain of loss, but Aleya Kassam does an incredible job.

chanyado

I lay in bed last night asking you to visit me in my dreams. To sit with me. Stroke my hair. Peel back your eyelid with your finger like you used to and give me that sweet sweet smile that would sweep away any melancholy clinging to my heart.

Did you hear me?

It’s been five months since you’ve been gone and I waited. I waited for the 40 days to pass so that your soul could finish the journey to heaven. You see I didn’t want to hold you back. And since then, I’ve asked and asked and asked again, and still you don’t come.

So I am writing to you Mama. I’m etching out the lines of my bittersweet grief, because I am afraid if I don’t, you will disappear into the haze of colourless bite sized memories that emerge at family gatherings, becoming sound bytes that are…

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Thor: Ragnarok

Posted on by daisiesandbadgers

This film. I like it. ANOTHER!

I’m going to cut right to the chase here. This film was wonderful. Why are you even bothering to read this review? If you’ve seen it you’ll know already, and if you haven’t then what are you doing? GO WATCH IT NOW!

It’s difficult to call this an MCU film because in some ways it actually feels like a parody. For the first half hour or so I found myself muttering ‘Thor, your Hemsworth is showing’ or ‘Oh Hiddleston you little Trickster’, it was a little as though the characters had just spent a few days on tumblr reading memes on how to be their characters. That’s not to say that’s a bad thing at all, after nearly 10 years (Yup, I can barely believe that either) of MCU films it’s refreshing to see a shake up of the regular formula. Not only is this a shake up but an all out slaughter of the norm.

Taika Waititi directs this instalment and if you caught his ‘Hunt for the Wilderpeople’ you will see a lot of his style coming through in Thor, including some of the same actors (<3 Rachel House). Waititi has this wonderful way of taking an absolutely epic fantastical scene and focusing in on the most human, mundane element of it, and Thor is the perfect playground for that. There are some truly breathtaking scenes reminiscent of Renaissance paintings in their intricate magnificence but these are set side by side with silly slapstick moments.

All this being said, the film isn’t perfect. If you go in wanting the same depth you’ve gotten from previous films, you will be disappointed. Sometimes the film feels very unfocused, jumping between ideas and jokes instead of spending time building plot. The characters don’t break out of their comedy versions when you feel they should be a little more real, which leads to character developments that fall flat. If you’re looking for another Civil War you will be severely disappointed.

Take this film with a pinch of salt and in the spirit it was intended however, and you will be in for a refreshing laugh, the perfect palate cleanser to the heavier hitting hero films that have come before. Plus there’s Korg.

Mostly watch it for Korg tbh.

You will like this film if you liked;

Tron (the eighties is strong with this one)

Deadpool

Guardians of the Galaxy (either volume)

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Thor

Special Shoutouts

Waititi for Korg, Cate Blanchett for Hela, Jeff Goldblum, basically as himself, for the Grandmaster, and Matt Damon and Sam Neill for Loki and Odin.

No shoutouts for Bumbersnatch Cumbernoodle, your accent is still silly.

 

 

Hello brave new world

Posted on by daisiesandbadgers

Hi there!

This is my first official blog post as Daisies and Badgers, yay! *does a little dance* Hopefully by the time you are reading this I have published a great wealth of fascinating blog posts and you stumbled upon this while digging back through my early works. Hello friend, welcome to the past.

More likely however it will end up as a random anonymous piece among many floating the internet, and that’s okay too. Either way it’s wonderful to have you here, please pull up a pew and get comfortable. Let me tell you a little bit about my world.

I am a twenty something (heavy on the something) woman living in a small town in Northern Ireland in a beautiful (in serious need of decorating) house with my handsome newly-wedded husband Mr Badger, and our majestic ginger fluff Millie the cat. As a recent survivor of the “Wedding Planning” process *shivers* my blog will probably feature a little bit of wedding, along with a strong sprinkling of sass, a dollop of house decorating (because we seriously need to decorate this place), a slice of angry feminist ranting, and whatever else I find at the back of the cupboard to throw in. Probably anime. Definitely cat memes.

So just sit back and relax, and we’ll see where this blog takes us.

Oh and do be careful of the fairies, they tend to bite.

See ya,

Nico xox

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